


Keep It Ugly

by YourParanoidKilljoy



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Abuse, Emotional Problems, INDEFINITE HIATUS, M/M, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-09 02:19:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3232625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourParanoidKilljoy/pseuds/YourParanoidKilljoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm Gerard. Gerard Arthur Way. </p><p>I'm sixteen hears old, my birthday is April 9th and I go to boarding school </p><p>Not any boarding school, no. I go to the one and only Sterling Academy For Boys, the best in all of New Jersey.</p><p>Yep... I go to an all boys school *rolls eyes*<br/>I didn't have any problem with the school, it's just when you go to an all boys school, you're no stranger to the other boys calling you a 'faggot' for being 'different'. The boys here at Sterling Academy were notorious for it. Constantly picking on younger kids and kids that just didn't fit into their 'category'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! This is my first fanfic on AOU3 and any comments are appreciated:)

I strolled down the deserted corridor, making my way to English, an hour before the lesson was due to start. 

I wasn't one to brag but, I took pleasure in my punctuation, I arrived at least ten minutes early for my morning lessons to be prepared. I always wore my uniform correctly, tie seven stripes long like expected, shirt tucked in, shoes polished and cuffs of the blazer neatly folded. 

It's not that I cared about school, because I couldn't give two shits about school. No it wasn't that. In fact, I don't know what it was. I just liked to be presented properly. If you respect your appearance you tend to get respect from others, and believe me, I didn't like people who didn't have respect for others. 

I'm Gerard. Gerard Arthur Way. 

I'm sixteen years old, my birthday is April 9th and I go to boarding school 

Not any boarding school, no. I go to the one and only Sterling Academy For Boys, the best in all of New Jersey.........Ughhhhhhhh!!!!

Yep... I go to an all boys school *rolls eyes* I didn't have any problem with the school, it's just when you go to an all boys school, you're no stranger to the other boys calling you a 'faggot' for being 'different'. The boys here at Sterling Academy were notorious for it. Constantly picking on younger kids and kids that just didn't fit into their 'category'.

To be honest, I have never been this early to a lesson before. I don't even know what delivered this unusual behaviour of mine. Oh yeah, that's right, I had a test this morning in English. 

I hated tests. They're always there to mock you, make you feel worthless about yourself. You think you've done fairly decent, only to get your mark back and get a D or C. 

I was honestly happy with a C and possibly a D in maths. In fact, I was behind in most subjects anyway. However, my aunt and uncle have recently been 'displeased' with my grades, they're always comparing mine to my brother, Mikey's, grades. Like I care, you know. We're individuals. I'm happy that Mikey does a lot better in his exams. 

Anyway, English was a weak subject, so I decided last night to arrive at least an hour before the lesson started, so that I can get some last minute revision done. 

The reason I wanted to get it done before and not in my room, because there are so many distracting things in my room, such as: 

-My iPod, which is always telling me to listen to my awesome music

-My sketch pad, I absolutely loved to draw

-My coffee machine, what can I say? I'm a sucker for coffee

-My piano, I loved to play

-My computer

-The tv 

The list goes on...

So yeah, that's why I decided to revise in class. 

Once I arrived in class, I bought out my notes I had jotted down in my previous lessons and started to revise. 

If I'm being honest, I must've spent at least half of the time revising daydreaming, I actually cannot help it, I don't like learning about Romeo And Juliet!! Seriously, if they'd had phones, things would've been very different, they could've called rather than Romeo killing himself which later resulted in Juliet's death.. Seriously? I hate teen drama, because in actual fact they were only like thirteen. I'm not saying that that's too young, because I believe love can happen at any age, but killing each other is a bit too extreme in my eyes. 

Eventually the bell rung, signalling ten minutes before lesson was about to start. During this space of time, boys started flowing in, all with worried expressions on their faces. 

I heard mummers such as 'oh man, I totally forgot about this exam!' And 'Ive not learnt shit, I don't care either'. The last comment I found amusing, because I couldn't care less if I failed, but at least I had prepared and tried, which is all I can ask of myself. 

Just before the lesson was about to begin, and sir was in the process of handing out or exam papers, Ray rushed in and took his place next to me. 

Ray... What can I say about Ray...? Well, he has a huge afro!! Some people call him FroFro, which I definitely did not start...! *guilty face* 

"Dude, I literally just woke up!!" He whispered quite loudly to me. 

I looked over at him, understanding fully now. He had sleep still in his eyes, his tie was barely done up and he didn't do up a few of his buttons on his shirt. His hair was more messier than usual, if that's even possible and he didn't have any socks on. Typical Ray.

"Yeah, you look like crap" I replied, giving his a smirk. He just rolled his eyes and let out a rather loud yawn.

I focused on my test paper... Shit....

\---

The bell rung, signalling the end of period one. That test was so hard!! Who knew Shakespeare had so many hidden metaphors. 

I waited for Ray once I'd handed in my exam into Mr Kilper, our English teacher. 

" man, I know i failed that" he came put rubbing the back of his head 

" yeah me too" I replied " I didn't know half of the answers, and the ones I did know I railed on too much " 

" yeah you tend to do that " Ray said with a sly smile on his face. I just nudged him for being cheeky, although I didn't take offence because everyone knew I loved to talk or ramble on, well, anyone I was close to anyway. 

The rest of the day went pretty fast. Boring, as usual. 

At the end of the day I went over to my brothers room, to find him and Pete, his roommate arguing over something. 

"For god sake Pete, would you fucking leave my stuff, where I bloody leave it!?" Was what I walked in to hear Mikey scream at Pete. 

I forgot to mention earlier, Mikey's my younger brother. He's fifteen, although he is a genius, literally. He's a straight A student, and he doesn't even try. 

" I told you I didn't touch your shit" Pete replied to Mikey, who looked pretty pissed 

" well who the fuck did then, the tooth fairy!?" Mikey yelled, almost knocking his glasses off of his small, boney face. 

" everything okay guys?" I asked, making myself noticed, as both of them had failed to see me walking in.

" yeah" they both mumbled at the same time. 

" sure didn't seem like that to me" I replied, trying to understand what was going on. 

" yeah we're just tired, is all, I'm gonna get to sleep soon" Mikey said whilst yawning. 

Pete just rolled his eyes and grinned at Mikey 

I never understood these two. One minute they could be screaming at each other like there was no tomorrow, the next they could be as sweet as pie, no actually because pie isn't nice at all, as sweet as candy, to one another. 

Mikey jumped on his bed and practically fell asleep straight away. I admired that about Mikey, no matter how crap things were, no matter how much stress he was under, he could fall asleep at any given moment if he wanted. 

"So what was all that about?" I questioned Pete once I knew Mikey was asleep 

Pete just let out an involuntary sigh " ah it was just Mikes getting paranoid, as usual" 

" what was it this time?" I asked, sighing myself. Mikey was very paranoid and often accused people of taking his things, when in actual fact he had just misplaced it. I felt slightly sorry for Pete having to put up with it, but he didn't seem to mind as much as what I did when it was just me, him and........ Our... Supposed father..

" his Harry Potter book" Pete said bringing me out of my thoughts. 

" what!? You're kidding right?" 

Mikey was obsessed with Harry Potter, I'm not even kidding. It was an English book and had been made into a movie. Mikey always said that he preferred the books to the movies, he said he felt a 'connection' between him and Harry, the main character. I don't see how, from what I've gathered Harry is an orphan or something who has a wand and has this dude named Voldemort who wants to kill him. I watched the last movie recently with Mikey, Ray and Pete, just to get Mikes off my case to watch it. I didn't like it much, I'd never watched the previous films so I didn't quite understand the storyline, but from what I saw, Voldemort is a bloody child abuser!! He was strangling Harry with his elasticated arms or whatever, poor Harry. 

" he's obsessed" Pete said, once again bringing me out of my thoughts " and not in a good way either" that made me chuckle slightly, we all knew Mikey was a bookworm, and that nothing could be done to prevent him worming his way into a book 

" he's read all of the books at least a dozen times, and that's no exaggeration" I sighed. It's true, he'd first started reading them when he was six years old! I mean six fricken years old!!! 

Pete just chuckled, flicking through his new comic. Pete was a good friend, but he wasn't one I'd consider being close friends with. I had my own friends, well, Ray and Bob were practically it. Pete was Mikey's friend, and Mikey hung out with Pete's friends, and occasionally we all hung out together, well if you'd class all of us sitting in a room doing whatever knows hanging out. Our school was strict, they didn't let us out of our rooms past 8pm, and we certainly weren't allowed to go outside or do regular things that teenagers our age do. 

I got bored and told Pete I was tired after a long day so I was going to bed. It was a lie of course, I wasn't tired, I just wanted to go and be alone. Sad right? A sixteen year old wanting to spend time alone. Well not in my opinion, I enjoyed it. Unless I was with Ray or Bob I would spend time on my own. Ray and Bob shared a room, so they always hung out doing whatever knows. I sometimes went over to their room to 'hang out' but it ended up being boring, I'd figured I could be making better use of my time in my own room, rather than wasting it on lazing around. 

Once I'd made my way to my oh so lovely room, excuse the sarcasm, I switched my coffee machine on. I'd die without my coffee machine, literally. She's been so good to me over the years, and yes, I called her a she. After a few years do bonding with a machine that you love to pieces, you develop a certain bond... I'm crazy right? 

The machine made the heavenly click, signalling that my coffee was made, I took my cup and made my way over to my bed. 

I practically jumped on it, welcoming the soft warm duvet onto my cold skin. I looked around my room. Boring. My computer was in the corner, at the foot of a spare bed that was lying there, collecting dust. I never understood why I never shared a room. Never, of all the what four years I've been here, I've never experienced sharing my room. I kinda liked it in a way, but sometimes it did get a bit quiet, which wasn't always nice. 

When I was younger, when everything went wrong in my life, when my life fell to pieces, I had shared a room with Mikey. I think I'd shared for around three years, until we were taken to live with my aunt and uncle, then sent to this place. Maybe they requested I didn't share? I don't know. All I knew is that I was getting pretty tired and the coffee I had in my hands wasn't acting as the stimulant it was supposed to be, that's all those years of coffee for ya. It sucks like a bitch. 

Gradually I felt myself grow deeper and deeper into sleep, I tried to fight it, but it was no use. 

Eventually I just succumbed to the inevitable and embraced it, welcoming it with open arms. It wasn't often I felt like this, sleep was very difficult for me. I rarely went a night without having a nightmare and waking up terrified. 

I felt my brain go fuzzy before everything went dark.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard finds himself in an awkward position with his new room mate

I woke to a sudden knock on my door. 

I turned over to see what time it was, Jesus Christ is was 3:21am! Whoever was knocking on my door was about to get a lot of attitude for waking me so early in the morning. 

Feeling unbelievably tired, I trudged over to the door, obviously falling over the crap on my floor in the process. I unlocked my door and realised who the person was. Mrs Worthington, the head teacher. I know, this is an all boys school and yet we have a female head teacher, makes no sense. 

" oh, er, hi mrs worthington" was all I managed to say. I ruffled my bed head, trying to wake myself up further 

" I'm sorry to disturb you Gerard, at this time in the morning" she said politely " but I'm afraid we have a new student that has just transferred here-"

" yeah cool, what's that got to do with me?" I interrupted

She looked rather annoyed now. " well, you see, we haven't got any dorms left for him to stay in, you having an extra bed, are going to share " she finished

It took a minute to process what she was saying, I ruffled my hair and just agreed, not that I had a choice anyway 

"When will he be moving in?" I questioned, I had to tidy my room and store away my personal belongings

" now" was all she said, and she moved sideways so that the boy I was supposed to share my room with, could step forward. " Gerard, this is Frank Iero, your new roommate. You'll be showing him around in the morning, you've been excused from all of your lessons" she said rather firmly 

" oh, er.... Okay?" I said, rather sounding like a question which is not what I intended. 

"Mhm so you boys get acquainted and I'll see you tomorrow" she walked off. 

This boy, Frank, was left in the hallway looking at his feet. He had a few bags with him, which I assumed had his basic belongings, along with clothes. 

" well come on in then" I said, holding the door open for him to enter. He just nodded and entered with his head down, I couldn't see his appearance from his rather long fringe which covered his face. 

It was only now I realised I had my stuff all over the place, so I instantly went over to his, now, bed and removed some books I'd left there. 

" yeah, uh, this is your bed" I told him, whilst throwing my stuff at the bottom of my bed. He just nodded and made his way over to the bed and sat down. Okay, he doesn't talk much, but I guess that's okay because I didn't know him, and I don't like to talk to people I don't know. 

I looked over at the clock once again, realising the time was now 3:34am. I'm kinda tired and I've got another exam tomorrow, shit. I decided I'd get to know this kid tomorrow instead of today, even though technically it is today but, whatever. 

" I'm gonna get some sleep, I'm tired as fuck" I told him, and once again he just nodded. I felt kinda bad just leaving him there. " Erm, feel free to make yourself at home, my stuff is everywhere so if you want any room just, er, shove it or something" I said whilst lying back down onto my bed. 

I closed my eyes, and fell asleep again. 

I woke to my stupid alarm. I squirmed at the wretched sound. 

" shut the fuck up!" I yelled at it, even though I knew it was not a person, I wacked it and it shut up. 

I rolled over, ready to get up, and I realised that things in my room weren't how I left it last night. There was a few bags placed by the door and- "HOLY FUCKING CRAP!!" I screamed. There was a boy sleeping the spare bed. I rolled my mind back to last night. Oh!! That was it, I had a new roommate, how on earth did I forget? 

The kid fell off of his bed and onto the untidy floor, I assume because of my loud screaming. 

" oh man, I'm er- I'm sorry, I kinda forgot I had a roommate" I apologised, tilting my head so he couldn't see my face, and the fact that I was blushing. 

He looked around the room, and relaxed slightly. " no it's fine I guess " he said, getting up and fixing his hair. 

I took this as an opportunity to actually look at his appearance. He had dark brown hair which almost looked black that clung to his face, it came just below his ears, his fringe covering his eyes, preventing me from seeing them. He looked quite short.... He actually... He actually was quite attractive... 

Okay, okay, I forgot to mention that I was gay. I don't see the need to explain that fact, I mean it doesn't make a person different because of the gender they like. If you think about it, the only difference is whether you like the D or the V. I know, inappropriate, but I kinda like that saying, it's humorous but gets the point across. 

I looked at the clock " shit- I'm gonna be late" I had ten minutes to get ready, hopefully that was enough time.

" er I thought you didn't have lessons today? You're supposed to be showing me around" he questioned. 

I relaxed " yeah, oh yeah!!" I said very joyous now. " I had a maths exam, thanks, now I don't have to do it- until tomorrow anyway" 

He smiled slightly " yeah well you should be thanking that head, she let you off" he said rubbing the back of his head " I'm Frank by the way, in case you didn't remember" he held out his hand for me to shake. I studied his hand. I wasn't very a peoples person, I got anxiety from being around too many people and didn't enjoy the company of others sometimes. 

However, this Frank kid looked decent, I guess there was no harm in shaking his hand, exchanging my name too, after all we are supposed to be sharing a room together right? 

I shook his hand, reluctantly " I'm Gerard" I replied, he nodded, I guess with approval 

" yeah I know" he looked around

"So I-uh- guess I should show you around" I said, realising he was probably wanting to rid himself of my company. I had that effect on people. " let me just make a quick coffee, get changed and I'll show you around" I switched on the coffee machine, turning to Frank, not wanting to give a first impression of being rude " want one?" I asked, pointing to the coffee machine. 

" no I'm good thanks" he replied, politely. 

I shrugged "suit yourself" 

I walked off, to get changed into my own clothes. The only times we're allowed to wear our own clothes are on weekends, half terms, after lesson hours and if we've been excused from our lessons for the day. It was one of those days today. I like wearing my own clothes, it's normality. I feel more comfortable in my own clothes, even though because of the clothes I wear, people avoid me and label me the 'emo kid'. I don't care though, it's just labels and stereotypes. I couldn't care less what people think, like I said, I'm not a peoples person. 

I quickly got changed into my Iron Maiden shirt and my good old black jeans, grabbed my jet black converse, with leather soles and walked out. 

Frank seemed to be just sitting there during the time I was getting dressed. Boy, he sure didn't do much with his time. 

"Shall we go?" I asked. I must've startled him with my presence, because he jumped as though he'd just seen a ghost, and immediately blushed. I just gave him a smile, which would give him the impression that I wasn't a monster or anything. 

"Uh yeah I guess" he replied, straightening himself out 

"You don't need to guess" I told him as we were about to walk out 

" huh?"

" you said 'I guess', you don't need to guess" I repeated. He gave me a confused and unsure look and just nodded, which made me smirk a little to myself. 

" well, where shall we start?" I asked, although I was partly questioning myself aswell 

"The library? Dinner hall?" 

I looked at him, the fact that he was willing to talk, what progress, which made me smile 

" yeah, let's start with the dinner hall " and we made our way towards it 

I shown frank around the school, showing him the different blocks for each curriculum. We barely spoke about anything, other than me showing him and telling him where everything was, we didn't speak. 

Once I'd finally shown him everything, we made our way to Mikey's room, I don't know why but it's what I normally do when I've finished my lessons and whatnot, so I guess I did it without realising. Plus, I knew Ray would be in there most likely, and he'd be worried that I wasn't in my classes today. 

I knocked on the door and then entered, Frank coming in too.

I was greeted by a lot of abuse of Ray

" Gerard where the fuck were you today I was going craz- wait..... Who is this?" He asked staring weirdly as Frank 

Frank hid behind me and didn't say anything 

" this is Frank," I said, stepping away so that everyone could see frank " he's my new roommate and I've been showing him around so I wasn't in class" 

Everything fell silent, and I could tell Frank didn't like being here. 

"Well, I just wanted to drop by and let you know I'm still alive" I chuckled, I often laughed at my own jokes, which apparently weren't funny, well they were to me "we're gonna go, I think Frank needs to get settled in, we'll come by later or something" we walked out and Frank let out a sigh of relief

"Thanks for that" he said " I don't like being around people" he told me

" oh it's fine, I have anxiety around people aswell" I slightly chuckled, who knew someone like him had issues with people too. 

We made our way back to my- our, room in silence. 

Once we arrived in our room, I noticed that my stuff was practically everywhere, so I started clearing it up. 

" sorry about the uh mess, I wasn't expecting a roommate" I quickly grabbed my stuff so he had some room too, and dumped it on my bed 

" it's okay, I'm sorry to be a burden" he sighed 

" you're not a burden, I could actually do with the company, as I said, I don't like people. But you seem like a decent kid" I told him

" I'm not a kid" he sounded rather annoyed. 

" oh- no, I uh didn't mean it like that.... I always call other people that are younger than me kids, I uh don't know why " 

" who said I'm younger than you?" 

Come to think of it, I don't know why I assumed he was younger than me. I mean yeah he was small, but height meant nothing.

" sorry" I looked down at my feet " how old are you?" I asked 

" I'm sixteen" he sounded proud. Woah, he sure didn't look sixteen if I'm being honest. 

" oh..." Was all I said. 

" why how old are you?" 

"I'm sixteen too" I replied " when's your birthday?" I was curious as to who was older now. 

" October 31st " he had a smile plastered on his face " halloween" 

"Mines April 9th, so I guess you're older than me" 

"Cool stuff, kid" he emphasised the 'kid' part, which made me roll my eyes. 

" no offence but I just kinda assumed, because of your height and all-"

"You shouldn't make assumptions" he interrupted 

"Yeah, I know" I ran my hand through my messy hair. " I hate people for it, I guess I'm a hypocrite" I let out a nervous laugh. Wow, he really was older than me, not awkward at all 

" so that means you're in the same year as me then?" He asked 

"I guess so" 

" don't guess" he smiled

"Using my own words against me are we?" I laughed, this Frank was actually a smart guy 

He just laughed. 

" so frank, nice name by the way" I liked his name, it had a nice ring to it, he mumbled a thanks " why did you arrive so early in the morning? I mean normally people arrive during the day" 

" well.... I was excluded from the last school in our area, for being in 'too many fights' and my parents didn't want to put up with me anymore, so they sent me here" 

"Oh....... Sorry to hear that" I felt kinda useless. I wasn't expecting him to say that. 

" yeah.." The room fell into an uncomfortable silence. 

Frank finally broke the silence " so how long have you been here?" 

" since I was twelve, my aunt and uncle are kinda rich and wanted us to have a good education, so they sent us here" I told him

"Who's us?" He asked

" oh, my younger brother, Mikey, we went to his room earlier" 

" was he the one with an afro? Because if he's your brother, he looks nothing like you" That made me laugh.

" no, that's Ray, he's our age, Mikey is fifteen" he let out an "ohhh" which let me know he understood. 

" you said you live with your aunt and uncle?" He asked. I really didn't want to discuss my past with anybody, especially not with someone I barely knew. 

"Yeah, I don't wanna talk about it" I rolled onto my bed, tiredness hit in 

" oh, okay, sorry I didn't mean to sound nosy" 

"It's okay" although it wasn't, I didn't want to remember my past. I'd tried everything to forget, but no matter how hard I'd tried, I just couldn't forget. 

"So what kinda music do you like?" I asked, curious about him 

"You probably won't like it, but I like punk-rock, rock and all that" he seemed nervous

" seriously?!?!" I practically screamed. He nodded and bowed his head down, in what looked like shame " dude, I like that kinda music too! Funny, I never had you done for liking that kinda stuff" I was actually astonished 

He looked up and smiled " never thought you'd like it either" 

"Are you kidding?! I live for it! Well, along with coffee..... Speaking of which, do you want one?" I lived for coffee, could not go a day without it, and if I did I started having withdrawal symptoms almost immediately.

"Sure" he shuffled around a little. 

I set my ever so trustworthy coffee machine on, and waited for mine and Franks coffee to be made. Once it was done, I handed it to him and he thanked me.

Earlier I had took the time to take in his appearance, however I couldn't see his eyes because of his fringe that was in the way. Now that his fringe was swept back, I could see his gorgeous eyes. They were.... Magnificent. His eyes were the best feature on his face, they were dark brown, and you could tell a lot had happened to him just by looking at the sadness they beheld. 

"You're staring..." Frank said, bringing me out of my thoughts. I blushed, obviously unaware that he'd noticed my gaze, I avoided eye contact 

"Oh, er sorry.... I was just thinking about... Something... Yeah I've got a maths exam tomorrow, I should start revising for it" I lied

"Sure..." He was unconvinced. Shit.... The last thing I needed was a roommate, that not only knew that I had a crush on him, but could possibly be homophobic, not that I'm saying he is, I just don't want to take my chances. Few people knew I was gay, Mikey, Ray and Bob knew, whether Pete knows I am unaware, but if people don't ask, I don't see why I should tell them. 

"Besides it's only 5:40pm, you've got time to revise later" he said, obviously he wanted to talk. 

I sighed and gave in " fine then, what do you want to do?" I asked, wanting to get this whole 'getting to know you' thing out of the way and done with. 

" I don't know, talk?" As I'd suspected, he wanted to talk

" about what?" I probably came off as quite annoyed, but I really was just suddenly in a bad mood. 

" I don't know, where are you from? Where'd you grow up?" 

These were fairly simple questions, but I could already see where this was going to lead, and I did not want to bring up what happened in the past up.

" I'm from New Jersey, I was born in Summit and raised in Belleville, you?" I asked 

" ha, I was born in Belleville, raised in Kearny" 

" that's kinda funny, I was raised where you were born" I chuckled slightly 

" yeah it is" he ran a hand through his gorgeous hair.

" what are your hobbies then?" I asked, hopefully changing the subject 

" I love to play guitar" he immediately said 

"Cool, so you like music?" 

"That, my friend is an understatement" he called me his friend... Yeah, I like that 

" I like music too, although I'm no good with instruments. I can play the guitar, but I'm shit at it" I said honestly, because I was indeed very shit at it. I'd once been in a band when I was a child, I was the singer. But apparently being the vocalist was not enough, so they kicked me out for not being able to play the guitar well enough. That made me cry for about a week. 

"Nah I love my guitar, she's been good to me. I had to leave her behind at home though, apparently they only allow certain things here" he sounded quite sad, he talked about his guitar as though it was a person. 

" yeah I know, they don't let you bring in that kinda stuff, something about noise, but they have a music room that we're allowed to use whenever we feel like it." 

That's the only good thing, it's open all hours so we can.... 'express our selves' as they like to call it

Frank immediately grinned " what do you do then?" 

" what do you mean?" I was slightly confused by this question 

" you said you like music, but if you don't play what do you do?" 

" I uh" I was slightly embarrassed about it " I sorta write my own songs" yep that did it, I must've turned fifty shades of pink. I'm quite sensitive when it comes to music, I don't like people to know I write. But I kinda felt like I could trust Frank, for some crazy, bizarre, unknown reason. 

"Really? Cool!! Can I hear some?" 

"They're not good, and most of them aren't even finished" I hope he took the hint

"Oh, okay well when they're finished I'd be more than happy to listen you know" 

I gave him a warm smile, not even Ray encouraged listening to my songs. 

"Will do" I replied. 

I suddenly had the urge to talk to Mikey and show him my new friend- as crazy as that seems. Me and Mikey are close, well we were close before we got moved here. We still see each other everyday, but it's not the same. However, I can tell him anything and he doesn't judge me. He knows I'm gay, and he doesn't care, which is why I adore my little brother so much. 

"Hey, you ready to meet my friends again?" I looked at him, and realised he'd suddenly tensed up. 

"I-uh-well..." He kept cutting himself off. I know it must be hard for him, coming to a place he didn't know, meeting knew people. I have anxiety. When I first came here, I was having attacks constantly, it took a couple of months, but I adjusted. I still have attacks, but I can keep them under control most of the time. I know what Frank is going through, is what I'm trying to say. 

"It's okay, we don't have to" I tried reassuring him 

"Sorry... I'm really not good at this" he told me 

"Frank it's fine, I have anxiety too, I was just the same when I first came. It took me a couple of moths to adapt" 

"A couple of months? I can't do a couple of months Gerard, the pills I take, they have no effect whatsoever" he was starting to get himself worked up

I walked over to him and placed my hands either side of his shoulder, trying to calm him down. 

"Hey it's okay" I said soothingly "that was just me, I had no friends, only my brother. You have it better" 

"How so?" He asked between taking deep breaths 

"You have me" was all I said. A huge smile creeped it's way onto his adoringly beautiful face, and planted itself there 

He nodded in approval "I've never had a proper friend before" he told me, which kind of made me instantly sad.

I know what it's like, to not have any friends, the only company you have is of your younger brother, and even that is not by choice. Before I came here to Sterling Academy, I had no friends. I was bullied at school, badly. Only to have to come home and receive the same treatment, only worse. 

" you know what Frank, I think you and I will be great friends" the smile plastered on his face never left.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys are liking these chapters!! Feedback is great:)

It was now currently 9:07pm and I was supposed to be doing last minute homework, but i was terribly distracted. You see a certain someone, Frank, has been on my mind all day. 

Tomorrow is Friday, last day of the week. Frank arrived here at early hours this morning, he's currently taking a shower.... I haven't been intently listening or anything. 

No, I've been trying to organise myself for tomorrow's day, but with him humming in the shower, and he is actually quite good at it might I just add, I cannot concentrate at all! Oh well I'll either have to wait until he's asleep, or wake up extra early, again. 

He spent around half an hour in the shower, I guess he wanted to familiarise himself with the bathroom? Or maybe he just wanted to clean himself from traveling here, it's a good hour away from any open land of near civilisation shall I say. 

When Frank walked out of the shower, he had a v-neck t-shirt that was plain grey and some baggy pyjama shorts on. His hair was damp and ruffled from trying to get it dry. He jumped onto his bed and relaxed,which made me grin because he was so down to earth. 

"So what do you do in your spare time?" Flipping his lovely dark hair out of his face

"What spare time? Have you seen the amount of work they give us?" 

"I kinda figured that, but on weekends or after lessons?" His tone was enthusiastic

"Errr- I guess I hang out with Mikey, Ray and the others" I answered bluntly. He scratched his face showing he was uneasy about something. 

"I-er, guess I'll have to meet them sooner or later" he seemed worried

"They're really nice guys you know. Ray, you'll love him, he'll probably cuddle you to death. He's completely harmless" this made him chuckle

"You know, just because I'm your roommate doesn't mean you're stuck with me y'know" I told him, his expression turned from happy, to worried

"Oh, don't you want me to hang out with you?" He was getting the wrong impression

"No no it's not that, it's just not many people like to hang around me. I'm the 'emo fag' that everyone avoids" I looked at my feet in shame, I can't believe I told him about the name calling. If he were to find new friends, he'd obviously start calling me those names also. 

"Gerard, you're perfectly fine to me. I hate bullies and discriminative people, the main reason I got kicked out of my last school" he sounded quite annoyed, I didn't know whether to ask him any questions furthermore onto that subject.

"What happened, if you don't mind my asking?"

He sighed "well, I got bullied because I'm gay. When I was fed up I started fighting back. It got bad and my parents didn't want to deal with their disgrace of a son who had got excluded, so they packed me off here" he shrugged it off as though it was nothing. 

"You're gay?" I was honestly surprised by this. He is so stunningly gorgeous, I thought he would be straight. 

"Yeah, why that a problem?" He asked with slight anger in his voice

"No actually, I'm gay too" 

He looked up at me and studied my face for a few seconds, probably to check if I was lying. 

"You are?" He asked after a long pause 

"Yep. Which is why I got bullied a lot in lower school" 

I thought back to the memories of being shoved into lockers, beaten up countless times and left in the corridors, like discarded trash. I must've only been about ten years old, if that. But the bullying was always a problem, even when mum was.... When mum was still alive. That was a memory I didn't want to touch on, I might just break down. 

We sat in a comfortable silence for a while before I was starting to get tired and thought I'd call it a night. 

"I'm gonna hit the hay, errrr if you need anything just chuck something at me to wake me up" 

He laughed " yeah okay, I think I might stay up a while" he shuffled around 

"Do you mind if I turn the light off?" I asked, not wanting to turn if off without asking, in case he was afraid of the dark 

"Go ahead" 

"Okay thanks." I switched the light on my bedside table off, I couldn't sleep with a light on, from all of the years spending time in the dark, I had adapted and didn't like the light much. 

" night frank" I said halfway through a yawn

"Goodnight, gerard " he replied.

I woke up, I'd had a nightmare. The same one that I'd been having since I've been a boy. I gasped for air, my hair and face dripping with sweat.

I looked at my surroundings. 

Darkness. 

Imagine being surrounded by darkness, knowing something or someone is lurking, waiting to attack you. The predator so hungry for fear, it would leave you practically begging for the torture of silence and darkness to be over. But it still never stopped. 

That was my childhood.

I quickly turned the beside lamp on, not wanting the darkness to suffocate me. 

"Holy shit!!" I jumped out of my skin. Frank was sitting on his bed, slouched up against the wall... Awake....

"Frank you scared the life out of me!" I yelled, but instantly felt bad. What was he doing up at this time in the morning, it was 5am, we didn't have to be up for another two hours. 

"Sorry" he mumbled

I scratched my head " what are you doing up at this time in he morning?" 

"Thinking" was all he said 

"At 5am?" 

" yeah" woah, his answers were blunt. He obviously didn't want to talk. 

"Did you get any sleep?" I asked, slightly worried because he was starting his first day of actual lessons today, he needs all the strength the can get 

"I-uh- don't like to sleep in places I'm not familiar with" he sat up straighter. 

Poor kid. I should've asked him if he was settling in ok, or if he needed me to stay up too. I'm too inconsiderate. 

"Well, I'm gonna stay up now" I didn't really know what else to say back, that was the only few words of comfort I could think of. " I can't sleep anyway" I got up and switched on my coffee machine, setting two instead of one for Frank

"Yeah I heard..." 

My head snapped up " what did you hear?" I asked, slightly worried if I was talking in my sleep, which I've been told by Mikey i do. 

" you kept mumbling things about how you deserve it more than Mikey , and then you woke up" he shuffled around, clearly feeling uncomfortable. 

Shit... He cannot know anymore, I will not allow him to know anymore. Even Mikey doesn't know certain things. I tried to protect him as much as possible. I'd failed though. I always fail. 

"Wanna talk about it?" He was obviously trying to comfort me, but I was not in the mood

"Not really" I replied rather bluntly. 

The coffee machine clicked, bringing my attention back to the coffee. I took mine in one hand, and handed the other cup over to Frank

"Thanks" he took it and sipped some of it almost instantly " I like the way you make coffee" he breathed in the wonderful coffee and exhaled, which was kinda cute I must admit. 

"No one can make it like the awesome Gerard Way" it's true, my coffees are awesome, and everyone knows it. 

"There simply is no other way" frank smirked and I rolled my eyes. 

"Was the pun really needed?" I was used to people making puns on my name, they always did. But it didn't annoy me too much. 

"He'll yeah! Your last name is awesome!!" He said whilst jumping off the bed and putting the cup of coffee on his bed side table. I rolled my eyes. 

"I feel energetic, I wanna do something do you?" He was pacing the room...You could tell that he wasn't used to coffee, my body was probably immune to it by now as I didn't feel the effects when I drank it, and it wasn't much of a stimulant to me. 

I laughed "how often do you actually drink coffee?" 

"I haven't drank it since I was a kid! I feel great!" He was energetic alright...Or shall I say hyper!

"Well it is only 5:15am, and we're not allowed out of our dorms until 6:30am, so we can't go anywhere for another hour and 15 minutes" 

He let out a sigh of disappointment.

"Can we do something fun then?" He asked jumping up and down like a child

"Such as...." There really was nothing to do other than talk 

"I don't know..... Sing!" He yelled whilst clapping his hands

"W-What?" I asked, hoping I didn't hear what I though 

"Sing! Sing for me!" He put extra emphasis on the 'me' 

I sighed "I don't sing" I lied, I do sing, in fact I love to sing! Just not in the company of others

"Oh come on. Please??" He gave me the puppy dog eyes. Surprisingly, the puppy dog eyes have no affect on me whatsoever, but he did look cute all the same. 

I sighed in defeat, I didn't want to disappoint him even though I was a terrible singer. 

"Fine" I thought of what to sing and couldn't come up with anything " what do you want me to sing then?" 

"Anything, a song you made up" he finalised

"But they aren't very good" I really didn't want to sing, let alone a song I'd written. 

"It's only me hearing it so who cares?" I cared dear Frank... But you cannot, and will never know it. 

"Fine" I was once again defeated, in the space of a minute. 

I thought of the song that was short and one song instantly snapped into my head. I'd written it a long time ago, when I'd first came here in fact and was depressed. I hadn't finished it because I didn't have time and had forgotten all about it, until now 

I composed myself, inhaled a deep breath and started singing the lyrics I'd written 

"Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.

I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.

For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,

Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay

I'm not okay

I'm not okay

You wear me out" 

I finished there, where I'd left off. I didn't realise I'd closed my eyes and was not lying on my bed. I took a glance over at Frank and his face looked shocked. Oh shit... That's a bad sign. 

"Told you I was crap" I stated, inside I felt like crying

"Gerard..." He was speechless, I knew I was bad but I didn't expect him to say it. I'd rather his just think it, him saying it aloud would just tear the little bit of confidence I had away

"Gerard..." He said once again "that was-"

"I know, I know it was shit, you don't need to say it" I interrupted 

"That was fucking awesome! You're a talented singer!" He sounded genuine. 

"Mhm" I didn't believe him of course, he just didn't want to hurt my feelings. 

"I'm being serious Gee, you are gifted" wait... Did he just call me... Gee....?

"Did you just call me Gee?" I asked, ignoring the compliment, that was false, he had just given me. 

He blushed and looked to the corner of the room "yeah, sorry I just blurted it out, i won't call it you again" 

"No, no I like it" I nodded with approval "i like it a lot in fact. Nobody's ever called me that before" I added

He looked at me and smiled, it wasn't a big smile but a smile all the same. 

"Where'd you come up with the lyrics?" He asked 

"For the song d'you mean?" I was slightly confused as to what he was referring to 

"Yeah" he was messing around with a piece of his gorgeous hair, which was kind of distracting. 

"I-uh- I wrote them when I first came here. I was angry" I didn't want to go into too much detail

He nodded his head, thank god he didn't press onto that subject! I looked at the clock, it was 6am. Wow, time had gone fast 

"Well we've only got another half hour" I broke the silence that we had been holding " when it's half past, where do you wanna go?" I actually didn't know where to go, this place was always deserted in the mornings, you'd occasionally see the odd teacher, but no students tended to wake up before 7am 

"Er I don't know, we could try your brothers again?" He suggested, I kinda felt bad for him as he was stuck with my company most of the time. I bet he just wanted rid of me. 

"Yeah we can go there, are you sure you're ready to meet them?" I know it must be hard for him, as it was for me. 

"Yeah I'm sure I'll be fine, I've prepared myself for it" I didn't know it helped, preparing to meet people 

"Preparing helps?" I asked curiously 

"For me it does, when I met them last night I hadn't prepared which is why I was like that" he fumbled with this fingers. 

"Well I think Mikey will like you!" I lightened up the mood. Mikey probably wouldn't even be awake, and would probably hit me for waking him. Thinking of Mikey early I'm the morning mad me want to laugh, so I didn't hold back. Frank gave me a 'are you okay look?' Which made me laugh even more. Someone's in a good mood today, I thought to myself, well it was a Friday and I had Frank all to myself over the weekend, what more could a guy want?


	4. Chapter 4

I changed into my uniform, because I couldn't be bothered to later. When I came back Frank was still in his pyjamas. 

"Hey, have you got your uniform and stuff for school?" I questioned, I'd never thought about it earlier, but he'd only arrived yesterday, and at early hours in the morning which didn't give him much time to get his things together. 

"Yeah, my parents had bought all that crap beforehand, they'd been debating on sending me here for a while apparently" his parents sounded like assholes. 

"Oh okay, well there's towels and stuff in the bathroom, for when you wanna get changed and washed up" I told him, not wanting to sound creepy or anything. 

He finally got changed, and I must say the school uniform actually suited him! It never suited anyone but he wore it well. Once he came out of the bathroom we say and talked for a while

Before we knew it, it was already 6:30am. I asked Frank a final time if he was still ready to meet them and he agreed, so we made our way to Mikey's dorm. 

I knocked on the door, knowing there would be no reply and opened it, using the key I had been given by Mikey for emergencies. Well, Mikey didn't give it to me by choice. I demanded his spare so that I could check up on him to put me at ease if I ever thought he was in trouble. I have always been protective over Mikey. 

When we entered the room it was dark, so I turned on the lights which resulted in both Pete and Mikey instantly waking up, wide eyes and panic spread across their faces. Once Mikey had seen me, he relaxed 

"What the fuck Gerard?!" He demanded. As I said before, Mikey is not a morning person. 

"Mikey put a shirt on for gods sake! I'm your brother I don't want to see you half naked" I complained, even though I had no problem with him being shirtless, I was doing it for Franks benefit. 

"Gerard it's 6:30am!! What the fuck are you doing?" He questioned, obviously ignoring my previous comment. 

"I'm introducing you to someone, but first put on a shirt!" I told him. I looked over at Pete, who had fallen back asleep again. Typical. Oh well, he'll have to meet Frank later because I'm not wasting my breath waking him up too. 

Mikey got up and quickly put on a shirt, and readjusted his glasses so that he could see Frank standing behind me. 

"Right, now that you're decent, I would like you to meet Frank my new roommate" I introduced Frank. Mikey just stared at him for a moment, and then held out his hand for Frank to shake. Frank gladly accepted it and smiled at Mikey and said Hi. 

"And Frank, this is my my retarded younger brother, Mikey" 

"Hey!" Mikey yelled whilst punching my arm " I am cool and you know it!" He grinned at me 

"Oh really mikes?" 

"Yeah! Just ask Pete if you don't believe me" however, Pete was asleep and I knew Pete was biased.

"I believe you twerp" I muttered the last part under my breath, somehow Frank heard and laughed a bit. 

"So why'd you rush off last night?" Mikey asked sounding concerned "we kinda worried a bit y'know?" 

"Oh I had to do some stuff" I didn't want to make Frank feel uncomfortable by telling Mikey about his anxiety. 

"Yeah, okay" Mikey rolled his eyes not fully believing me. 

"So Frank, when did you arrive?" Mikey tried making conversation 

"Around 3am yesterday. Gerard wasn't too happy about that" He chuckled and so did Mikey 

"Yeah, Gerard loves his sleep too" he stuck his tongue out at me, he can be so childish sometimes. 

"Have you got school today then?" Mikey directed the question at Frank

"Yeah, unfortunately" I should've mentioned to Frank that Mikey likes school, and is a bit of a nerd. 

"It's not that bad, I actually like it" Mikey shook off Franks comment

"Mikey here is a super geek" I told Frank, he just laughed 

"I am not you idiot!" Mikey yelled at me, we have squabbles a lot 

"Whatever you say mikes" I grinned at him. 

We continued to make conversation, I'm surprised Frank seemed very comfortable and was talking as though they were good friends. 

"What-uh- what's going on?" Oh, Pete had decided to wake up

"You lazy arse, you've got half hour to get ready you know!" Mikey yelled whilst throwing a pillow at him.

"Why didn't you wake me up?!" He tumbled out of bed and lay on the floor. 

"We tried, now get up off the floor" mikey said. Seriously, they were like an old married couple 

"Yeah whatever" Pete muttered whilst stumbling into the bathroom.

"That's Pete, he's also retarded" I told Frank who just smirked in reply 

"I heard that you dick!" Pete yelled from the bathroom 

I just laughed because I found it funny. 

Once we had twenty minutes before lesson started, me and Frank said goodbye to Mikey and Pete and made our way to our lessons. I'd failed to ask him if he had his timetable yet. 

"Hey have you got your timetable yet?" I desperately wanted him to be in all of my classes

"Yeah I've got English in E3" he shrugged, however I was a little bit excited because he was in my class! 

" I have English with you then" I said as casual as I could, trying to hide my inner excitement

He just smiled and we didn't say anything until we reached English. We had 15 minutes until lesson started so we just entered the classroom and sat down. I gazed out of the window, the sun was beaming down over the freshly cut lawn, the birds chirping their little songs without a care in the world. They were free, they could fly off to wherever they pleased. Whereas me, I'm stuck here. 

"Do we actually have to do work here?" Frank asked, bringing me out of my thoughts. 

"Huh?" I was slightly confused because I wasn't entirely listening 

"Work...do they make us do work here?" He repeated again 

"Yeah they're pretty strict on it" I replied, thinking back to the time I got a C on a test when I was 13, which apparently wasn't good enough. I don't care about school work, I'm a failure in life anyway so what difference does it make if I get good grades?

"Well fuck that" he muttered, he obviously wasn't a fan of school either. 

"I hate school" I sighed, this was literally boring the death out of me, living in the same place, same timetable and barely going outside. 

"Me too, but at public school I ditched all the time so I never did much work" woah, he was a rebel.

"I've ditch only once" I told him, his eyebrows raised and I nodded slightly and blushed 

"Well this school isn't like public school, there's no lockers to get shoved into or any pricks" he sounded slightly exhausted, maybe this school was the best for him, to rid himself of those worthless bullies. 

"There's pricks here, but I just ignore them because they're worthless" oh yes, there was a fair deal of bullies here too, they liked to call me the 'king emo faggot' because they had nothing better to do with their time so they obviously had to pick on the kid that wasn't a sheep and followed the crowd. Fuck them. Who gives a shit anyway?

The bell rung signalling the beginning of lesson, sir was officially late. Boys started pilling into the classroom and taking their seats. Ray, was unusually early for once! He took his place and sir walked in. I walked to the front of the classroom with Frank to introduce him and inform him of a new student who will be joining us 

"Sir, we have a new student today, his name is Frank" I politely informed our English teacher 

"I am aware," I shuffled through a few documents on his desk and turned to Frank " I have assigned you a seat behind at the back next to Billie O'Riley" he pointed in the direction of this Billie kid and waved us off. I must admit I was disappointed that Frank wasn't placed next to me, I looked over at him and I think I saw some disappointment in his face too. As much as I loved being next to my close friend Ray, I didn't want Frank to have an anxiety attack from being under too much stress. 

Much to my surprise, Frank gave me a weak smile and strolled over to where his assigned seat was and took his seat. The boy, Billie, started making little chat with him and Frank seemed to be talking back. I know this is wrong, but I felt jealous and took an instant disliking to this Billie kid. I walked over to my seat, that was four whole rows away from Frank, and sat next to Ray 

"Hey what happened last night?" He questioned, now looking at Frank "who's that kid over there?" There was a hint of distaste in his voice. 

" oh yeah that's frank my new roommate" I replied shrugging it off, I didn't really want to think of Frank right now, even though it was inevitable and I couldn't get him out of my mind no matter how hard I tried. 

Mr Kilper spoke, drawing the classes attention " well I have some good news and some bad news folks" we all groaned, I forgot he had marked our tests and was handing them back today, mentally groans " the bad news is that most of you failed the test" he looked slightly pleased with this factor " however the good news is that we have one young man who did exceedingly well!" His face shone bright. I seriously didn't care about this crap and wanted to get out of this lesson as soon as possible 

"And that student is Gerard" sir continued. 

I looked around looking for who had called my name, everyone was staring at me. Did someone say a bad joke about me or something? Getting fed up I just blurted out "what's everyone looking at?" I do not like stares, it's rude and uncomfortable. 

"Well done Gerard, I must admit I was quite shocked at your approach to Romeo and Juliet, but all the same you received an A*" he nodded in approval and began to hand back our tests. 

Ray looked over at me shocked and then a huge smile creeped it's way across his face, not before patting me on my back " well done Gerard!" He said in a very enthusiastic tone. 

I stared blankly at him, I couldn't process what Mr Kilper had just said, I had received an A*?! Yeah... Like that's happened, especially in English!

I turned back at Frank and he was looking at me with a huge grin on his face, then Billie distracted him by talking to him about something. 

"Oh damn!" Ray cursed under his breath, he'd received his results and by the sounds of it, they didn't sound good "well fuck I got a D" Ray wasn't good at English, and neither was I so I have no clue how I receive an A*! 

"Yes you do" I replied, trying to cheer him up with a bit of humour, he shook his head with a smile on his face and then put his head on the desk. 

The lesson went very slow! Mr Kilper used me as a 'model student' which was annoying because I really didn't know a thing about Romeo And Juliet and I honestly didn't care. From time to time I glanced back at Frank, who was very busy talking to Billie which kind of enraged me. I mean, of course I knew he didn't always want to be friends with me because I'm a 'freak' but come on, his first day and he's already found better friends. This upset me, because even though I knew Frank was gay that doesn't mean he liked me the same way I did him. 

When the bell rung signalling the end of English, me and Frank made our way to our next class we had together which was music. I liked music with a passion, but I didn't feel like it today with Frank being on my mind it was preoccupied. 

When we arrived at our class, frank ran straight to the guitars that we had in the cabinet and started strumming, he was actually very good!

" I smell talent " miss Holmes said whilst walking into the room. 

Miss Holmes was a very laid back teacher and you could tell that she loved her music. She was probably the only teacher I liked here. 

"Yeah I love guitars" frank replied whilst propping the guitar back up where he had found it. 

"You must be Frank?" She asked and Frank nodded. 

" well I'm miss Holmes, your music teacher" she gave him a warm smile and made her way over to her desk. 

Frank looked at me and I just smiled at him, he was obviously excited. 

The lesson went by fast as music always did, we didn't do any practical with instruments we were just talking about them and composure. Next lesson we're getting put into groups and we're going to compose a piece of music which will be awesome!

At break me and Frank made our way up to my usual spot where I met the guys outside by this huge oak tree. It took us around five minutes to get to the spot, Mikey, Ray, Bob and Pete were already there laughing at some joke probably. 

As we made our way towards them Frank stopped walking and bowed his head. Concerned, I walked back 

"What's up?" I asked, not sounding as sensitive as I had planned 

"I'm intruding in your friendship circle" his voice was low and sounded strained. 

"No you're not! They'll love you just come and meet em'" I practically drug him over to where the guys were. They all looked up and smiled 

"Hey" they said in unison 

"Hey this is frank" I placed myself on the tree trunk, a place I particularly liked. 

They all smiled at frank and said hi to him, he gave a shy hello back and i beckoned him to come and sit beside me which he did. Everyone went back into their conversations and me and frank were left not uttering a single word. I was thinking and I could tell by the way frank was sat that he felt uncomfortable so I'd decided to make him feel welcomed into the group.

"So what kind of music do you like frank?" I asked loud enough for the others to hear, we were all passionate about our music, we listened to rock and punk rock. Everyone fell silent which is not what I wanted as I knew frank would feel pressure to answer.

"Errrr" he stuttered "mostly rock and punk" he said sheepishly 

"Woah dude, awesome taste!" Ray exclaimed with a grin on his face.

Frank looked up at Ray with a smile tugging at his face " Y-you like rock too?" 

"Are you kidding?!" Ray yelled " that's the best music ever!" Ray loved music 

"I know right! I mean people just do not appreciate music nowadays!" Frank seemed engrossed in conversation with the guys, whilst I just listened and thought about stuff. 

The rest of the day went by pretty fast, at lunch Frank sat with us and he continued to talk with the guys about music, I felt quite happy for frank. I didn't have any other lesson with Frank today so I took him to every one of his lessons and then went to my own classroom, earning a scolding from my teachers for being late. I told Frank to stay where his last lesson was and I'd come for him so that we could walk back to our dorm together, because he probably didn't know where it was from the German block, not that I wanted to walk with him and enjoy his company or anything. 

As the last bell rung signalling that Geography was over, I jumped out of my seat, collected my folders and ran out of the door leaving Bob, who I normally walk back with, standing looking confused. I'd forgotten to tell him I was meeting frank. I'm a bad person for ditching my friends for Frank, but he's new so I'm sure they'd understand....Right....?

I ran down to the German block in under two minutes! Damn, I didn't want to seem eager or anything. As I arrived in the German block I realised that the bell hadn't rung yet and the class were still in lesson, so I just waited outside catching my breath. Not to long after the bell rung and a lot of sweaty, tired looking boys toppled out. Frank was the last one to come out and he looked as red as a tomato, his hair all ruffled with a few of his shirt buttons undone with his tie loose. Man, I hope he didn't have an anxiety attack. 

"Hey are you okay?" I was concerned. He gave a slight nod and walked with me in silence to our dorm. 

"What's up?" I asked trying to get more information out of him. 

"It was fucking hot in that classroom!" I did not expect that to be his answer. 

"Oh...." I didn't know what to say next "how was German?" That was the best I could come up with?!

"I don't like it. I can barely speak English properly let alone another language" he seemed agitated. 

"You didn't have an anxiety attack did you?" I blurted out. I mentally face palmed myself for being so forward. 

He chucked a little "no I haven't had one in ages, I just get sweaty and freak out. But I mostly have it under control" thank god for that, I was worried about him. 

"That's good" I replied 

"What about you?" He asked, but I didn't understand the question 

"What about me?" 

"Do you have attacks often?" He repeated

"Errrr-" I didn't know if I should confess to him or not, because he could ditch me and confess my secrets to the school bullies "not often no..." I lied, but he didn't seem to notice as he just nodded and we walked back to our dorm in silence. 

Once we'd arrived at our dorm, I was starting to get scratchy, and I always had a shower as soon as I'd finished lessons before going off to Mikey's room to chill. 

I scratched the back of my head, I needed a shower because it takes my mind off of things, however I didn't want to leave frank because he might think I was ditching him. I needed or compose myself, I was only going for a shower, nothing would happen to him. I hope.....

"I-er..... I'm gonna go for a shower" I grabbed a random change of clothes and made for the bathroom. 

"Okay see you soon" Frank said whilst jumping on his bed and plugging his earphones in to listen to music. 

I walked into the small bathroom that we had and got into the shower. The warm water on my skin was refreshing. I don't know what it was about needing a shower as soon as I got back from lessons, I physically could not do anything until I'd had my shower. Maybe I have OCD but I doubt it. I just liked things being in a routine. Ever since mum passed I had to be there for Mikey, which involved being organised and having a routine. 

I was probably in the shower for around 45 minutes, I didn't need to wash as I was very hygienic and used deodorant, I always thought about things. I'd been told by Mikey that once he'd tried to get me out so that he could go to the toilet, but I was so deep in thought I didn't hear him so he'd had to run back to his dorm to go instead. 

I bought myself back to reality and turned off the shower and dried myself. Once I was dry I'd changed into my Green Day t-shirt and some pyjama bottoms. I looked in the mirror at my appearance. Nothing special. Just a 16 year old boy who looked plain and boring stared back at me. My red hair clung to my forehead, soaking with water still. I ruffled the towel in my hair to dry it off a little and looked back into the mirror. My face was pale, probably due to stress and lack of sleep and my eyes looked tired. I must look a mess! I can see why I get dirty looks from some teachers and pupils, my red hair obviously clashes with the all black uniform. I'd originally died it when I was 14 but I didn't like it much so I removed it. However when I was going through a depressing stage I needed a change, so i died it red again. The school went ballistic because of this, but my aunt had a 'chat' with them and they got off of my back. 

I walked out of the bathroom and the cool air hit me like a baseball bat, woah that bathroom must've been pretty hot!

Frank instantly sat up and looked at me for a few seconds before shaking his head and saying "you took your time.... I thought that maybe you'd drowned or something" worry was clearly showing in his voice which was cute. 

"Oh no, I uh like to think in the shower, I take one everyday after lessons" I think I'd summed that up pretty well, I didn't reveal anything about why, I mentally gave myself a pat on the back. 

"Oh okay, cool" frank replied "so what do you wanna do now?" He asked, I looked at the time to reveal it was 4:30pm.

"Normally I'd go to Mikey's dorm but I honestly cannot be arsed with him right now" I said truthfully, because in all honestly sometimes Mikey was a pain in the backside! He would sometimes just talk about school or babble boring and useless facts that would help nobody in no way whatsoever. For example: 'did you know that a Dalmatian is born with no spots?' He has such enthusiasm in his voice, which I envy because he views the world in a very different way than I do. 

Frank just rolled his eyes and i made coffee, realising I'd gone a few hours without it. Frank seemed busy listening to music so I just lay on my bed and thought some more, I thought about Frank mostly. How he didn't know what effect he had on me, and how he is too good anyway to be with a guy like me, not that it would ever happen anyway. I must've tired myself out with my thoughts because I woke up at around 3am to see Frank curled in a ball sleeping with his music still on. 

I crept over to his bed to turn his music off, it was pretty loud and I didn't want him going deaf. I slowly took his earphones out and took his iPod from out of his firm grip. I double tapped it to reveal Good Charlotte, The Anthem playing. Good taste in music i thought. I turned it off and went back to my own bed, still tired. 

However sleep did not come easy to me this time. I thought. I thought a lot. I thought about Frank and about Mikey, school and exams. I was nowhere near ready for them and I had way too much on my mind to concentrate and revise for them. Oh well, if I fail, I fail....


	5. Chapter 5

It is now currently 5am (ish) and ever since I woke up at 3am I have been unable to get back to sleep. So I've been thinking and drinking coffee, two things I'm best at doing. 

Frank still hasn't woken up, but it was his first day of lessons and he hadn't slept much before so I guess he needed the sleep. If he wasn't awake by 7am I was going to wake him because lessons started at 8:25am and I didn't want him missing any of his classes because that's not the kind of first impression you would want to leave. 

The time was now 6:30am and I was getting slightly bored. I heard boys waking up in their dorms and decided to listen to some music to pass the time, I shuffled through my iPod and found 30 Seconds To Mars...! I plugged in my earphones and turned the volume on full to The Kill which was an awesome song. I closed my eyes and listened to the magnificent music. 

I was shook gently causing me to get slightly annoyed at this person from disturbing me from my ever so needed sleep. 

"Gerard it's 9am" Frank whispered gently, but loud enough for me to hear. 

I jolted upright in my bed and searched for the time. It was in actual fact 9am and I was late for lessons!! 

"Fuck!" I yelled to myself. "We've missed class!" was all I could say, I'd only ever ditched once and that was because i felt quite sick and I hadn't informed the teachers about it either, which made me feel like a rebel!

Frank just laughed at this and rolled his eyes before asking "Why is school so important to you?" 

School was not important to me, punctuation however was. I needed to be on time for my classes ( preferably 10 minutes before ) and I needed to actually turn up. Punctuation meant a lot to me. 

"I like good impressions" I said rather bluntly, and not really caring about it either. 

"Well they're not gonna me happy are they...?" He trailed off whilst tutting "Gerard-er-way?" He asked my last name as though it was a question, I nodded signalling for him to carry on "missing a lesson, tut tut" he continued whilst shaking his head. I couldn't help but smirk and roll my eyes, at least he had cheered me up. For a moment anyway. I was back to reality and I panicked whilst grabbing my uniform and heading for the bathroom to get changed. 

"Where are you going?" Frank asked, emphasising the you. 

I turned around and gave him an 'are you serious' look, as if it wasn't obvious that I was going to get changed for my next lesson that was about to start in around 20 minutes. 

"Changing into my uniform, which I suggest you do to" I replied turning back around and making for the bathroom. 

"Wait!" Frank called once again, which made me let out an annoying sigh which was unintended. Frank was gorgeous and I could feel myself falling for him, but I really needed to get changed and get to my next lesson. 

"What?" I asked urgently, my tone of voice can out quite harsh which was completely by mistake I was just in a hurry. I could never be mad at Frank. I hope...

The tone of voice I'd used didn't seem to have an effect on him and he just blinked at me before a huge grin appeared on his face, he failed to say anything which made me rather impatient. 

"Well...?" 

The grin never leaving his face he replied " ditch school with me" I'm sure that was supposed to be a question, although it came out as more of a commandment. This time I blinked at him. Was he seriously asking me to ditch? I never ditch except that time I'd already mentioned. 

Not having an explanation as to why I didn't want to ditch, or rather I did but didn't want to tell him, I replied " and do what?" 

"Does it really matter, anything beats school!" I contemplated in my head, the positives and negatives of ditching. I'd get to stay in my dorm all day and talk to frank, listen to music and drink coffee. That was the life. But then again, I would miss so many important lessons which I would only have to catch up on later in my free time, which in my opinion was not worth it. I didn't want to sound rude denying staying here with Frank, him being here all on his own but I really didn't have a choice unless I wanted to spend hours of my free time catching up. 

I gazed into Franks eyes, I could see hope glittering in them, which made it all the more harder to deny staying here with him. I remained eye contact with him for around ten seconds.

"I-I can't Frank..." I trailed off unaware of what to say next "we have to make up the time we've missed after lessons" I settled for the excuse that was the actual reason I didn't want to ditch. I looked at Frank and the glitter of hope in his eyes had vanished, and in it's place sadness had appeared. The tone of voice I'd used came out as too apologetic, which I'd regretted almost instantly. I mean, what if he was only asking me to ditch to be polite? 

He shook it off and said "I'm not feeling up to school today, must be the food here" I don't know whether he was lying or telling the truth. Because, in all honestly the food here isn't the best and when I first moved here it took me a while to adjust, but I'd never actually felt sick because of it. Maybe he just needed some alone time. Yeah, some alone time that's what it was. 

Without another word I scurried into the bathroom and got changed into my school uniform. I adjusted my tie so that it was exactly eight stripes long, the same length I'd always had it since I started here. 

When I unlocked the bathroom door I wasn't greeted by Frank, instead by the sound of loud music which was coming from his earphones. He had it on full volume, yet again. Don't get me wrong, the only way to listen to music is on full to get the actual sound out of it, but he was going to burst his eardrums. 

I strolled over to my iPod and shoved it into blazer pocket. I took one last glance over at Frank, he had his eyes shut with his head down tapping along to the beat of the music. I took this as my signal to leave, I actually felt bad about leaving Frank here all by himself. But I just couldn't ditch. Not with finals coming up. I'm sure he'd understood when I'd told him. I hope anyway. 

The bell rung and I literally ran to my next lesson which was Science.... Great. I didn't pay attention to anything that was happening around me, instead I thought of Frank and what he was doing. Throughout the whole of the lesson I'd just stare into space, when my science teacher Mr Frost asked me a question I didn't even answer it, which was not like me. Franks had a huge affect of me, I just haven't figured out if it's good or bad. 

At break I met with Ray and Bob, Mikey and Pete most likely had a project or something, and I couldn't help but want to go back to my dorm to give Frank some company. I'd instantly regretted meeting up with Ray and Bob, I mean I couldn't exactly leave them now, could I? I contemplated in my mind, but decided against as I didn't want to be considered a careless friend etc. Instead I stayed with Ray and Bob, not uttering a single word other than the odd agreement of something they were saying or had asked me. I obviously wasn't paying attention,which is inconsiderate with me as I would not like my friends to suddenly ditch me because of the new boy, but it wasn't my fault Franks personality was extremely amazing and his looks were just a bonus! 

The rest of the day went very slow, if my day went slow Franks must have drug out even more. 

When the last bell rung I said bye to Ray and made my way to my dorm. I was speed walking but when I reached my door I suddenly got to nervous to enter. I plucked up all my courage and walked through the wooden door. 

As I entered I was greeted with Good Charlotte playing loudly through Franks earphones. I dropped my bag next to my bed and looked over at him sheepishly. His head was banging along to a song I couldn't name. He looked like he was in his own world. 

I must've been staring at him, because when he looked his eyes let out a scared gasp which startled me too. 

"What the fuck?" Frank said whilst clutching his chest to catch his breath from the scare I had just given him. 

"What...?" I asked unsure of what answer he wanted me to give him. 

"Why didn't you tell me you were back?" He took the earphones from out of his ears and placed them on his bed. 

"You're head banging was-er-funny?" The 'funny' part came out as a question, because I was honestly staring at him because he was gorgeous!

"Yeah thanks a lot" he smirked and so did I

There was a sudden awkward silence. I wanted to apologise about leaving him today, tell him how I thought of him constantly. But the words never left my mind. 

Instead he was the first to speak and break the awkward silence "so how was school?" He asked, shuffling around on the bed and placing his hands on his stomach. 

"Boring" I replied because it was "how was-er-staying here?" This was the question that had been eating up at me all day. 

"It was fun" he replied, which was not what I was expecting him to say. He must've seen my puzzled expression and so he clarified "I like being alone, school bores me to death. I can't focus properly" he smiled and then looked away from my gaze. I think he was blushing. I don't know why, because this wasn't a flaw. 

"I know what you mean" I replied, lying down on my bed. 

Thank god tomorrow was a Friday! I needed the rest. 

I closed my eyes ready for sleep, even though I'd just got back from lessons I was suddenly really tired. 

I woke up not long after I'd closed my eyes, I looked around for Frank but didn't see him in his bed. I knocked on the bathroom door to see if he was in there, he wasn't as it was unlocked. Where is he?? 

I was getting sweaty now so I'd decided to change into my pyjama bottoms and a random short-sleeved band t-shirt, before searching for Frank. I know he said he wanted to be left alone sometimes, but I was worried and I just needed to know he was okay. 

When I'd got changed, I walked out of my dorm and searched the first couple of places that came into my mind. I checked the school library first, as that's a quiet place that nobody goes. He wasn't there though, I couldn't think of any places I could look for him so I went to Mikey's dorm to see if he knew of any places he could be. 

When I'd reached Mikey's dorm I didn't even knock, I just walked straight in and asked "do you know a place where someone would go to be alone?" As I said this Mikey and Pete sprung away from each other, what they were doing I was unaware. "Was I interrupting something?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"No!" Mikey said with panic I his voice. He looked over at Pete who looked flustered 

"We were having a pillow fight and I whooped his ass!" Pete stuck his tongue out at Mikey who replied with "You liar!" And they both grinned at each other that was most likely sharing a secret between them. 

I cleared my throat and Mikey looked at me with a questioning look.

"What did you say again?" He asked.

"I asked you where someone would go to be alone" I repeated.

"Surely if someone wanted to be alone you'd leave them alone" Mikey stated whilst fixing his glasses.

"Franks missing" my throat tightened as I said this. 

"He's probably exploring Gerard" Mikey looked at me with a look as if to say 'why do you care?' 

"Yeah, you're probably right" I said, I didn't agree because I had showed him around. I just didn't want to discuss anymore about it, knowing Mikey he would probably discover my liking towards Frank. 

I walked out without even saying goodbye. I was irritated at my brother, not that it was his fault. 

I went back to my dorm, hoping to find him there. Unfortunately he wasn't. 

Sitting on the bed, I thought through the past few days and if he'd mentioned anything about running away. He hadn't. 

Maybe he'd just gone for a walk? But then I thought he wouldn't, unless he wanted to get soaked by the rain outside. 

I found myself walking through the corridors searching for him. It was no use. 

I was just turning around to go back to my dorm when I suddenly thought of the music room! Frank had told me how much he loves to play guitar and that he wasn't allowed to bring it here. He must be there! If he isn't.... I don't know what I'd do. 

Walking up the stairs which led to the music room which was at the top, I listened for a music playing. Of course I couldn't hear anything, as the walls were sound proof so that they didn't disturb any lessons near. 

When I reached the top of the stairs, I peered through the glass window, and I saw Frank. He was sitting in the corner, with an acoustic guitar on his lap. He looked so peaceful, strumming the guitar notes and flinching every time he did a wrong note. You could tell he loved his music with a passion. 

I carefully opened the door and slid into the classroom, barely making any noise. I could hear the lovely melody he was playing whilst humming. It was harmony. He was extremely talented. 

"Where'd you learn to play this good?" I asked, causing him to freak out and strum random notes that didn't sound at all pleasant. 

"Gerard!! What the fuck?!" He shouted. I could see I had made him scared a bit too much. 

"Sorry" I smirked, letting him know I wasn't actually.

"You need to stop sneaking up on me dude!" he brought the guitar back to his knees and started strumming again. I listened to every note. 

"So why'd you go?" I asked "I was-er-worried something'd happened to you" I shuffled around feeling a bit embarrassed I had just admitted that to him. 

He stopped playing the guitar instantly and looked at me straight in the eyes. 

"Really?" His voice held disbelief. I nodded not trusting my voice entirely to be strong like it needed to be. When I was around Frank he did things to me, including making my emotions, voice and everything else faulty. "You were asleep, I didn't think you'd mind" he shook his head "you looked as though you were in for the night"

"Well then you thought wrong" I sat on a chair, causing it to make a squeaking noise. 

Frank continued to play his guitar, I just hummed along making up lyrics in my head to fit the tune. 

We must've been in there for around an hour, before Frank put down the guitar and yawned. 

"Let's head back shall we?" He stretched out it arms, which caused his hair to waffle in his face. It was cute.

I stood up, dusting myself off "yeah, okay" and headed for the door. 

We walked in silence until we arrived back at our dorm. 

When we walked in, Frank walked straight over to his bed and slumped down, closing his eyes. He'd fallen asleep then and there. 

I gazed at him, wondering what was going on inside those dreams of his. Maybe he was dreaming of me? Yeah.... Get real Gerard! You're just a freak he hangs around with until he finds someone better! 

I shouldn't listen to my subconscious mind, it's stupid. But sometimes I can't help it. 

After around 5 minutes of just watching Frank sleep, ( not that I'm a weirdo or anything ) I'd decided to call it a night myself, even though I was no where near tired.

When I lay down on my bed, I'd expected to feel calm or tired of some sort. But no, when seeking sleep was when my mind decides to come out and play. 

Normally I think about things such as death, art and how the world is fucked up, but tonight was different. I thought of Frank like I had the entire day. 

Only this was worse, because I physically and mentally could not stop.


	6. Chapter 6

I hadn't managed to get any sleep at all today, I was up all night thinking of Frank. Luckily, it was a Saturday today so I could sleep in later if I wanted to ( but I doubt that wouldn't happen thanks to Frank ) 

It was now 9am and Frank still wasn't awake. 

I mean, it was a Saturday, but I needed to speak to him desperately. Not about my burning desire to kiss him, but just talk in general. I found comfort in speaking to him, for some odd reason...

Feeling really bored and tired of waiting for Frank to wake up, I decided to go for a shower. I liked showers, they relieved stress.

I stumbled over to the bathroom and grabbed a towel. I turned on the shower and stepped in. 

The heat from the water beat down on my skin. It was refreshing. 

I used my shower time to think things over, as if I hadn't already thought about things during the day ( I mentally rolled my eyes at myself ) 

I must've been in the shower for around 45 minutes because my skin was all wrinkled and I felt like a lot of time had gone by. 

Feeling as though I'd spent enough time in the shower, I turned it off and grabbed my towel from the rack. 

Once I'd finished drying myself, I reached out to change into my clothes, however they were not there. 

Where the fuck were my clothes?! Wait... I don't think I remembered to bring them in with me. Well done Gerard, you fucking retarded freak!

Frank will most likely be asleep so I could just run and grab my clothes and be straight back in. Easy peasy... I hope....

I took about a minute to calm my nerves, before wrapping the towel around my lower half to keep everything covered. Once I was sure that everything was covered, I walked out of the door, immediately heading for my drawers which held my clothes. 

Once I was at my drawers I randomly picked up some clothes and headed back for the bathroom.

Whilst on my way back, I looked over at Franks bed to see it empty... Strange, but I'll just have to think about where he's gone when I'm changed. 

When I reached the bathroom again I quickly shut the door and turned the lock. I slumped down against the bathroom door, relieved that I didn't encounter Frank, otherwise it would've been awkward. 

I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror, I looked pathetic. I had scars all over my back, which I never allowed anyone to see. I traced the cuts on my arms which I kept a secret from everyone. 

I was just about to get changed when I noticed a figure in the corner. I took one look and screamed out of sheer shock. 

It was Frank, he was hiding behind the shower curtain!

"WHAT THE FUCK?!!!" I screamed at him, even though he was cute I did not want him to see me like this. 

He didn't say anything, just stared at me.

For a moment I thought he had noticed my scars, before I followed his gaze and realised that indeed my towel had fallen down, leaving me fully exposed...

I flushed a deep red and snatched the towel off of the floor, wrapping it tightly around my waist. 

"Frank get out!" I spoke with anger in my voice, which he must've noticed because the smirk that was once on his face, had clearly disappeared. In it's place was fear and anxiety showing. 

Frank scurried out of the room, as soon as he'd left I slammed the door and locked it. 

For some unknown reason, I burst out crying. 

I don't want Frank to ever see me like that, exposed. I was repulsive. Why did he have to knock down the bit of confidence I'd had?!

I got changed after weeping for around ten minutes, and after that I tried composing myself for leaving the bathroom and having to face Frank...

Jesus he had to go and do that didn't he?! 

I suppose he didn't know, so it wasn't entirely his fault- I argued with myself.. Great..

Breathing in a deep breath, I walked out of the bathroom sheepishly and faced Frank. 

He looked as though he'd been crying. 

I looked down at my feet before speaking "listen Frank, I er... Didn't mean to scare you earlier" I mumbled shyly, still not meeting his gaze. 

He shuffled around and said "no no, it's my fault. I didn't know you were only in a towel" he explained. 

I'd decided to meet his gaze, and when I did, our eyes connected. 

"So..." I was stuck for words, and clueless of what to do next. "Are we- er- cool?" I asked, instantly facepalming for using the word 'cool' 

He chuckled "yeah we're 'cool'" he quoted me, lightening up the mood slightly. 

I slumped down on my bed, thinking of how to spend this Saturday. 

I was so lost in thought that I didn't notice Frank trying to get my attention.

"Gerard!" He snapped, losing his patience.

"Hmm, what?" I asked, dazed.

"I was asking, what do you want to do today?" He repeated.

"I was just thinking of that actually" I replied, honestly. 

"Well..." he paused, thinking. "before I left, I was allowed to pack a few things and I packed my American Horror Story box set" he spoke whilst rummaging through his bag, pulling out his box set. "If you want, we could watch it?" He pulled it out, revealing three DVD cases, that all looked enticing. 

My face lit up at the offer, he wanted to spend time with me! 

"Fuck yeah!" I let out, immediately feeling stupid for my sudden enthusiasm.

He just let out a slight chuckle and went over to my small tv, to put he DVD in. 

"So what's it all about?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me. I could never just watch a film without knowing anything about it, I had to know everything.

He looked at me as though he'd seen a ghost. 

"You're kidding right?" He asked, his tone of voice unsure. 

I shook my head, not knowing what this tv series was about; probably looking like a fool in the process. 

"You've seriously never watched American Horror Story?" He asked, still in disbelief. 

I shook my head "I've been here for years, we're not allowed to watch that much tv" I replied. 

"Dude, we need to get you some entertainment!" He exclaimed. 

I was about to objectify, me not watching much television, but watching more tv involves spending time with Frank; and I was not about to let that opportunity slide. So instead, I just nodded. 

Frank put the first disc of his box set in the DVD player, then turned to me and with a huge grin on his face. 

"You're gonna love it!" He was very enthusiastic. 

~1 hour later~

I stared at the small tv in front of me, speechless. What did I just watch..?

I could feel Franks gaze at me as I continued to stare at the tv. 

"So... You like it?" Frank asked cautiously. 

I shook my head, causing his slight grin to fall. 

"I fucking love it!" I exclaimed, it was an awesome tv series, and I'd only watched one episode. 

His head snapped up, his eyes sparkling with happiness. 

"I told you!" He sounded so happy, and it made me even more happier just knowing that I caused that smile on his face. 

"So, Tate is kinda cute right!" I blurted out, not even realising. Once I realised what I had just said I covered my mouth. How could I say that?! He's probably thinking I'm weird and an emo fag and-

"I know right! I thought I was the only one dude!" Frank agreed. 

I stared at him for a few seconds, I mean of course I knew he was gay, but I didn't expect him to agree with me on this.

"Do Tate and Violet get together?" I asked, prying for more information about Tate and Violets love life; if there was one to occur in the future of the television series. 

Frank just smiled and put his finger to his nose, tapping it three times. 

"You'll just have to watch and find out"

I giggled along with him; for why I do not know. He just had that aura that I felt good around, he makes me feel better about myself. 

"So, do you wanna watch more or do something else?" Frank asked whilst stuffing food into his mouth. 

"More!!" I practically begged, which resulted in us having an American Horror Story Marathon.

Eight whole hours later, and I was sat staring at the small television set before me, nearly in tears. 

It was now 7.20pm and Frank was asleep on the floor whilst I lay shocked at this incredible tv series. The storyline was so touching!

I know, I know. It's only a box set! But when you've been in a boarding school for several years; there's no drama or tv. This box set is my first real insight to outside television.

I can't believe Violet would do that to Tate, I mean I know he kinda raped her mother, but he did it because he wanted to make others happy. Surely she would be able to forgive him soon. 

Snap out of it Gerard! Back to reality. 

Frank was asleep and he looked so cute that I'd decided not to disturb him. 

Instead I wrote him a note telling him that if he were to wake in my absence, I'd be in Mikey's room if he wanted to join us. 

I hadn't spoken to Mikey all day, I saw Mikey everyday since he's been alive, I needed to make sure he was okay. 

As I walked along the narrow corridors of the school, I noticed that the school was eerily quiet. I never really noticed this before, due to the lack of leaving my room at this time of night. 

I walked in to Mikey's room without knocking, he was sat at his desk with his head in a book; no doubt studying. 

"Hey Mikes!" I greeted whilst closing the door. 

His head popped up out of surprise and stared at me for a few moments. 

"Gerard?" He said hesitantly. 

"Yeah..?" I sat on his bed and looked across at Pete's bed, he wasn't there. That wasn't like Pete to leave my brother on his own, they normally did everything together and were practically inseparable. 

"I thought you weren't coming today, we normally spend Saturdays together, but you didn't come." Mikey spoke, there was emotion in his voice. It sounded as though he was quite upset. 

"Yeah I'm sorry Mikey, me and Frank were watching this tv series he brought from home" I explained. 

He huffed. Was I missing something..?

"What is it Mikey?" 

Mikey sighed. "Ever since Frank came, you've not been spending time with me" 

I swallowed. Surely he would see this as a good thing..? He couldn't actually like me hanging around him and his friends. I was doing him a favour. 

"Franks just settling in, it's only been a few days. Plus I don't see why you want me around all the time. You must be fed up of me; I'm doing you a favour and backing off" 

Mikey looked hurt and I instantly regretted my words. I never wanted to hurt Mikey, I tried my best to prevent that. That's why we ended up with my Aunt and Uncle. 

"I'm sorry Mikey" I apologised. 

"Just get out!" He murmured, turning his back on me and continuing with what he was previously doing. 

"Mikes don't be like that" 

I don't see why the truth had upset him, but I felt remorseful either way. 

"Gerard just leave me alone!! I want to be alone damn it" Mikey raised his voice. 

Me and Mikey never fought. We were always so close. This was our first ever fight; and I didn't like it. 

I stood up, feeling sick and left his room. 

My head started to pound and I could feel my body growing weaker and weaker. I had to get back to my room, and fast.

When, after what seemed like forever, I arrived at my dorm, I collapsed on my bed; breathing heavily. 

I heard muffling from across the room but couldn't concentrate on what exactly it was. Right now I had to concentrate on steady breaths. 

My head felt like it was going to explode. 

The sound grew nearer and nearer until a voice spoke. 

"Gerard..?" 

And that was the last thing I heard before everything went black as I slipped into unconsciousness.


End file.
